9 decidely unromantic ways to ignore Valentine's Day ... sort of

This article originally appeared on Examiner.com, Feb. 12, 2016.

If you've turned on your radio, TV, laptop, iPhone, OR brain over the past couple weeks you've been inundated with, you guessed it, promos for Valentine's Day! As if anyone with a beating heart (woops!) could forget, February 14 is Valentine's Day. Awwww. This reporter remembers many-a memorable Valentine's Day. In reverse chronological order, the maladies included:

• the year I dumped my sweet boyfriend for the young hottie I worked with (yes, on Valentine's Day)

• the year a boyfriend in LA ate a dinner I made for him, loaned me $100, and lied to me about his marital status

• the year I wrote an article about trying to lose weight (again) so I could just gain it back with all the chocolate I would be given.

But then, there are the sweet memories, too:

• the year my live-in boyfriend picked flowers for me and wrote a poem (the poem may have come later; memory's a bit foggy)

• the year my first love crafted an abalone heart for me and I made a necklace out of it (ok, the exact date of the gift may be a bit off)

• books, bracelets, and other baubles any number of beaus threw my way in my 20's and 30's

But the truth about Valentine's Day is that it's not an Equal Opportunity Holiday. If you are alone and you've turned on the radio in the past hour, you are being forced to feel badly about your single status. Don't grab the Häagen-Dazs! Don't grab the pistol! Don't jump, don't! As you age, you'll realize that while Valentine's Day is nice, loving yourself year-round is indeed The Greatest Love of All, just like the song. So herewith, some places to forget the romance and just get into your own vibe:

1. Any science museum. The Insectarium in New Orleans is terrific. (Just don't flirt with the ticket taker)

2. Any cemetery. (Don't read a romantic novel about vampires before you go, though.)

3. Any Sunday School class, unless you have a crush on someone there.

4. Any traffic school (unless the teacher is hot, of course, which makes it sort of romantic, I guess.)

5. Your grandmother's for dinner (just hope the boy you grew up in love with isn't also there, though, because you know he hasn't forgotten you after 23 years.)

6. Scrub the toilet, and when you are done with that, grout (don't call the same plumber you had last time because he definitely looks way too cute in that tight tank top.)

7. Call your ex-husband or ex-wife and rehash that same fight about why you found the phone number of the woman/man they ended up marrying many years before you split (do not - repeat - do not devolve into fits of giggles and suggest wine and cheese for "old time's sake" after you've started laughing about, what were we arguing about again?)

8. Take out the garbage (don't look at next-door neighbor working out, he is not on that new show on Netflix, he's just a guy, and you hate Valentine's Day, remember?)

9. Finally, fly to Hartford to go see Ryan O'Neal and Ali McGraw in "Love Letters"*, because hey, love means never having to say you're sorry you still believe in Valentine's Day. (For more ideas, see the list ... And have a lovely Valentine's Day.)

Photo: Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons Images. Johntex - Johntex Tree decorated for Valentine's Day in San Diego, California

*"Love Letters" is still on tour, but no longer in Hartford. Visit: https://www.facebook.com/lovelettersontour/. It will be put on in the UK this autumn.e>